This is an authorized archive of original prototype website of developed in late late 2008 and early 2009 by N. Chan from, patient of Dr. Hepburn, go to the current website for current information and humor by these two doctors who make use of their amazing humor as a vehicle for public medical / health eduction, on live radio, newspapers, and the web at

As public education is one of the themes of we are pleased with the honor of being able to archive this site.

Rob Sealey, MD and Dave Hepburn MD hosts of cross country radio program WISE QUACKS

" W i s e  Q u a c k s " - Medical Doctors Cross Country Call-In Radio Show

hosted by Dr. Dave Hepburn MD & Dr. Rob Sealey M.D.

National Network Radio Hosts · USA-Canada Syndicated Health News Columnists · Public Speakers on "Health Hits & Myths"

W I S E   Q U A C K S is the most fun informative and upbeat health show in the media today.  Heard nationally in Canada across the Corus Radio Network every Saturday this live call in show also features fascinating guests from the world of film, music, sports Corrine Latreille, star acrobart with Cirque de Soleil visiting Dr. Hepburn and Dr. Sealey and politics as they discuss medical issues that have affected their lives.  Interviewing the likes of actress Jaclyn Smith [original Charlies Angels ® character], Peggy Fleming, an Olympian in the 1968 games and Olympic gold medallist triathlete Simon Whitfield between your calls Drs. Dave Hepburn and Robert Sealey, both MDs, provide useful information in a hilarious and entertaining way.  Their extremely popular HITS and MYTHS segment reveals some of the common and intriguing myths in the world of medicine and discusses some of the exciting recent medical discoveries and how they affect your world.  e.g. see samples

Email us at d o c t o r s @ w i s e q u a c k s . o r g

Introduction to Dr.Dave Hepburn and Dr. Rob Sealey

Dr. Dave Hepburn, M.D. is an award winning syndicated columnist featured in several major newspapers across the United States and Canada and is a recipient of the prestigious Canadian Community Newspaper Association columnist of the year award.  His book "The Doctor is In(sane)" will be released in the spring of 2009.

In 1995 he lived in the jungles of Vanuatu where, for eight months he was the sole doctor and bush surgeon to 30,000 people on a remote South Pacific island called Tanna.  He has served aboard ship as a naval surgeon in the Persian Gulf War.

He has coached at the highest level of hockey for 12 years and he himself entered the Guinness Book of World Records as one of the highest scoring defenceman in the longest hockey game in history.  He plays twice a week to maintain his girlish figure.

Dr. Rob Sealey, B.Sc., M.D. originally aspired to be a veterinarian but his hopes were quickly extinguished by the realization that he is scared of animals.  Although humans also frighten him, he forced his way through medical training in various locations across North America along with remote hospitals in Africa and even Humboldt, Saskatchewan.  Since 1991, Rob has filled his days with the delights of being a family physician in Victoria, B.C.

His proudest moment was winning honourable mention in Mrs. Scheeler’s grade 2 poetry contest.   He has watched hockey at the highest level for over 12 years.  Rob also enjoys the smell of mouldy leaves after a misty rain and is particularly fond of the color blue.

Personal Health Tests:  on Lifestyle -or- on Stress

With the year 2009 upon us, it behooves us to take inventory of just how healthy our lifestyle is.  How do you score?

  • Realizing that donating blood actually decreases your chance of a heart attack, you donate blood every three months +50 pts
    ... While playing hockey -35 pts
    ... For the Leafs -99 pts

  • Your LDL cholesterol is low and your HDL cholesterol is high +50 pts.

  • Your blood pressure is low and your hemoglobin is high +60 pts.

  • Your prescription medicine is unexpectedly low and your roommate is high -75 pts.

  • Knowing that ear wax is protective, you never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear +65 pts.

  • You ram Q-tips into your ear in order to extricate the wax -70 pts.
    ... Which pops out the other side -90 pts.

  • You have reached your ideal weight and feel like you can go head to head with a pro athlete +100
    ... Your ideal athlete is Akebone, 600 lb sumo master   - 60 pts.
    ... You flatten him -80 pts.

  • You practice monogamy +85 pts.
    ... With all your friends -75 pts.
    ... You believe Monogamy involves putting a hotel on Baltic Ave. -125

  • You have a hearty floss daily +30 pts.

  • You date Heidi Fleiss -30 pts.

  • A quivering dental hygienist gets out barbed wire and floor sanders when you walk in. -50 pts.

  • By improperly trimming your toes, you end up with ingrown toenails -40 pts.
    ... You have ten healthy toes +30 pts.
    ... per foot -90 pts.

  • Realizing that spirituality enhances mental health, you attend church regularly +90 pts.
  • The only time you go to church is to be hatched, matched and dispatched -30 pts.
  • Your first prayer is on the operating room table -40 pts.
    ... As you repeat the last rites -300 pts.
  • You ingest lots of fibre +50 pts.
    ... The fibre is hemp -50 pts.

  • You have your prostate checked annually after the age of fifty +80 pts.
    ... You look forward to it -70 pts.
    ... Your name is Betty -90 pts.

  • You have some alcohol flowing in your blood stream -10 pts.
    ... You have some blood flowing in your alcohol stream -80 pts.
    ... Your family motto is "Work is the curse of the drinking class" -90 pts.

  • You have a wart problem -20 pts.
    ... But now you've licked it + or -30 pts.

  • This column is your main source of medical information -125 pts.
    ... This column and PHOTO are used to house train your puppy -20 pts.
    ... Your puppy is a St Bernard-white rhino cross -50 pts.

  • You despise Cindy Loo Who of Who-ville -30 pts.

  • You wish Jimmy Stewart and Clarence would both jump, just this once +10 pts.

  • You have a Merry Christmas and a happy +2009

        Dr. Dave Hepburn, 'Inventory Compiler'

Credits & © Copyright Information

The stories and comments on this website are, unless otherwise noted, written by Dr. Dave Hepburn and/or Dr. Rob Sealey and owned by Web Quacks Ltd.

Medical-Legal Disclaimer
Quotes from websites and publications on this website in no way implies endorsement of this website by the source of the quotes, unless otherwise noted.  Materials referred to or cited on this website are intended to provide viewers with potentially useful information sources for their own personal use and is not intended to replace direct consultation/examination from a qualified medical doctor or related certified/licensed health professional.

This website is intended as a humour based education tool and not intended to replace consultation in person with a medical doctor or a specialist(s) that they may have referred you to.

If you note any errors or ommissions contact us - however note - we reserve the right to not add content to our website if it conflicts with our professional code of ethics and internal guidelines.

Photos and graphics on the site are either published or republished with permission of the copyright owners.  Note also we try to put credit notes on the materials.

The inspiration for this site is ultimately from our radio show listeners, readers of our newspaper coolumns and of course our patients, friends and guests on our programs.  Thank you - all!

The last update on the site has been 2009.01.05 1503


Listen to Us Live on National Radio Stations - Phone In Your Questions  877 . 399 . 9898

Any Saturday morning at 10:00 AM Pacific Time (10:07 to be exact) tune into Canada's Corus Entertainment Radio Network including:

Public Speaking Services Available
fr. Wise Quack Doctors

The Wisequacks come out from behind the mike and are available to speak across Canada and the United States. Their concept of informative fun livens up conferences, wakes up audiences and ensures your meetings get off to a great start. Experienced and well versed in the field of medicine and wellness these MD's are prepared to address any situation, medically related or otherwise.

Sample audience feedback includes:

"The Wisequacks were beyond hilarious and had the huge crowd either spellbound or in stitches from the opening dancing to the Top Ten Reasons its Cool to Have Diabetes. Yet it was informative, uplifting and extremely motivational. Their razor sharp repartee with the audience while taking questions has to be experienced. Walked out of there with sore ribs."
   Canadian Diabetes Association,
   Vancouver Island South

"The wonderful sense of humor got the attention of the entire audience. It was spontaneous, quick-witted and the general consensus was that it was the best presentation of the entire Congress."
   BC Society of Medical Laboratory Science

"Enormously entertaining and motivating, a great way to set the tone for the rest of our conference, which turned out to be our best ever, likely because of this opening presentation."
   Western Regional GlaxoSmithKline Inc.

"The Dave Barrys of medicine."
    British Columbia MOA Conference

Further references available upon request.  For details please contact the Wisequacks at

HITS & MYTHS in the Health & Medical World

The following is a beginning sample of "Hits and Myths" previously broadcast on our radio program or published in news paper columns accross Canada and the USA

Is Laughter the Best Medicine?  
( Hits & Myths )

Actually NO...medicine is really the best medicine for most things that ail matter how funny a heart attack may seem, it makes absolutely no sense to sit back and laugh your way through a myocardial infarction. However, the good news is that laughter can make a difference in the way our body deals with infection and other body stresses with little chance of treatment side effects (unless you strain a muscle from guffawing too hard).

According to a study published in the March, 2001 edition of Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, titled Modulation of Neuroimmune Parameters During the Eustress of Humour-Associated Mirthful Laughter (makes you chuckle just thinking of the pranks those scientists must have pulled), having a good chortle was beneficial in boosting the immune system.

In their research, the laughter specialists (actually called gelotologists for you trivial pursuit buffs), measured blood samples from 50 men before and after they watched a 1 hour comedy video. The results revealed an increase of plasma immunoglobulins, natural killer cell activity, total leukocytes and a whole bunch of other stuff that we need to fight off infection.

So, the next time somebody sneezes in your direction, try and laugh it off.

Hits & Myths: by Dave Hepburn M.D. & Rob Sealey M.D.

"Using a Tanning Booth Before You Go to Hawaii Prevents You From Getting a Sunburn"
( Hits & Myths )

Many individuals spend part of their holiday money on going to a tanning salon in an effort to prevent getting 'burned' when they arrive down south but this is mythful thinking...there is no safe way to tan-period. Tanning beds produce on average 5x the Ultraviolet A radiation that the sun emits at high noon in the summer. Extensive research has found that 59% of 'fake and bakers' develop some form of skin related injury and that 1st exposure to sunbeds before the age of 35 increases the risk of melanoma (the deadliest form of skin cancer) by 75%.

Eventhough the World Health Organization has recommended that individuals under the age of 18 be banned from tanning salons, it is estimated that in North America more than 25% of teenagers have used sunbeds at least 3 times. Besides the evidence of increased skin cancers with the use of artificial tanning, there is no protective benefit against getting a sunburn when you're boogie-boarding in Maui...bummer.

"You Have to Wait 30 Minutes After Eating Before Going Swimming"
( Hits & Myths )

This is a classic "myth" that likely originated in the minds of parents as a way to relax after a nice big meal and delay having to watch the kids in the lake. Most people believe this is a reasonable rule to follow because we've all heard that blood rushes from every crevice of the body to our stomach in order to absorb the cheesecake we just inhaled. However, the actual process of digestion in the stomach organ lasts about 4 hours and the entire waste management system can take up to 20 hours...depending on what we ate and how anal an individual is. So, if it was true that we had to wait for digestion to finish before splashing about, we would have to fast the day before...

The above 3 sample "Hits & Myths" have been a part of one of the favorite segments for listeners to the Wise Quacks weekly radio program.

For more Hits & Myths click here!

Email us at d o c t o r s @ w i s e q u a c k s . o r g